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I’d rather explore his room with him on the bed watching me, not alone, feeling like I’m being sneaky. No point looking around at more stuff I can’t ask about. After sliding my phone back into my pocket, I tuck the sketch between the pages and close the heavy history book. Since I can’t keep the sketch, I pull my phone out of the pocket of my jeans and snap a picture of it. I wish I could tell him it’s amazing, but then he’d think I went snooping around his room. I think he really captured me and committed me to paper. Maybe it’s because I know it’s me, but I don’t think so. He’s clearly got some skill, because this is just lead spread across a sheet of paper, but looking at it, I can feel the girl’s longing to be somewhere else. In the picture, I’m sitting at my desk with my elbow propped on the surface, my face propped on my palm, gazing out the window. Probably just notes, nothing exciting.īut when I open it, it’s not notes. I see a paper sideways and hanging out of his history book and I can’t resist opening it up to see what it is. There’s a little desk lamp and some scattered folders and notebooks. His history book is sitting out on top of his desk. I don’t want to invade his privacy by outright snooping, going through drawers or anything, but I glance at the surfaces to see what he’s left out, unguarded.

I relax in Carter’s bed for a few more minutes, thinking about him, then I drag myself out of the bed and wander around. Since he went to Erika’s when we were on the brink of a relationship, it’s probably unreasonable to imagine he hasn’t slept with anyone now that he’s completely single again. My heart aches at the thought, even though I know he can now and he wouldn’t be doing anything wrong. God, I hope he hasn’t brought anyone else in this bed since me. I close my eyes and breathe it in, memories stirring of his arms around me. Since he isn’t here to witness it, I climb onto his unmade bed and crawl under the covers, pulling them up around me. I shouldn’t be in here when he isn’t home, when he hasn’t invited me, but as I look at his bed, I can’t help thinking about when I slept here with him and missing it. It shouldn’t be so easy to penetrate his sanctuary, when in so many ways, he is so well-guarded.

I don’t know why I imagined he might have his bedroom door locked, but I’m surprised when it easily unlatches and drifts open. His door is closed, but my hand finds its way to the knob and it twists easily. I intend to go directly downstairs so I can start studying, but I can’t help a faint stirring of curiosity when I go to walk past Carter’s bedroom. “Good night, Chloe.” I pause to turn out her light, steal one last glance at her and her nightstand to make sure she has her water bottle, then I pull the door shut behind me. If you need anything, I’ll be downstairs in the living room until someone gets home.” “Okay.” I smile and lean down, kissing her little forehead.

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